This is how wars get started.

The following is an email exchange that I witnessed this week.

Spanning three countries and two continents, we’ve got a cry for help, a forgotten bartender, a reference to David Hasselhoff and more! It all started in the deep south.

The cast:

B – Southern belle
J – German philosopher
G – French trickster

* names have been changed to protect the identities of the guilty

Let’s begin.

B cc’s the following email to approximately 25 people:

A** H** is a teacher doing this with her students…so help her out. Please play along. Thanks! This is for a science fair project. So I had to think of who would actually be willing to help with this project and carry it on! Please follow through. Copy and paste this letter into a new email (PLEASE do NOT hit “Forward”), then read the list of names. If your name is on the list, put a star * next to it. If not, then add your name (in alphabetical order, put no star). Send it to ten people and send it back to the person who sent it to you. Put your name in the subject box! You’ll see what happens — it’s kind of cool! Please keep this going. Don’t MESS it up, please!

Alyson, Alyssa, Amanda,
*snip*… names go on and on, ends with Trish

J responds:

I thought you are out of the ‘I believe in spam’ age…

G jumps in:

I agree, J ! but hey, B’s from Louisiana, spamming is new there(well… computers in general are new there…) lol

J responds:

You should bash her in front of the whole audience…how are you G?

B gets out the boxing gloves:

You two smart asses are gonna get it now…G what kind of teacher are you? It’s for the children. And as for you J, all I’ll say in retort to your wisecrack is that I’m thankful I don’t come from a place where David Hasselhoff is considered a good entertainer. You two better be glad I’m in the middle of packing to move and my blackmail material is out of hands reach or the cock fight would be on my friends. Don’t MESS with Louisiana 😉 We are a special blend.

P.S. P** K** sent it to me and A** H** (the teacher who sent it to him) was one of your favorite bartenders at Rotolo’s( I’ll refresh your memories later with photos if you don’t know who I’m speaking of). I thought it was legit…what can I say, I’m a sucker for the kids. “I believe the children are our future” Whitney Houston sometime in the 80’s. It’s probably a popular song in Germany by now.

Wow, thems some fighting words. J responds:

auto ignore: user on spam list

G pulls a bit of a mind fuck:

Who said people from Louisiana have no humour… oups… I did! Come on B ! you can take a joke… I know it… and excuse us for not knowing every bartender’s family name from every bar we’ve been to since 1999… and there’s been a lot ! As for questioning my teaching skills (which I take no pride into whatsoever) I don’t understand the link… what can I say… I’m French, we probably do not have the same logic…

You know we love you, so calm down sweetie! Don’t be obnoxious!

B removes J from this, a final masterpiece:

I love you G! I don’t get it either…I’ve fallen for it twice now and “I” have never gotten anything out of it…what can I say…I’m American.

I hope that some day soon we all are together to laugh at the past and dream about the future!

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One Response to “This is how wars get started.”

  1. seizuresalad says:

    Chain emails…who knew they could come so close to ruining friendships.

    Something in me has changed today.