My ISP has a function which allows me to see the search terms that lead visitors to my site from any given search engine. Usually it’s pretty boring stuff like “dustbin fetish” or “cillian murphy” – the typical searches you’d imagine. And usually I’m not yielding the results these particular folks are after, but that’s the game of the interweb.
Well last night I took a deeper look at how people were coming to find my site – and the search terms are not so typical these days. They’re downright hilarious, some of them.
In order of my favourites:
1) “fires caused by strawberry pop tarts in canada” – wtf? must be a high school research paper… The related post, #1 ‘food’ item purchased from Wal-marts prior to a hurricane?
2) “murray pomerance crazy” – this makes me laugh! Murray was my favourite prof of all time. He heads up the sociology department at Ryerson and even though I think “crazy” is a harsh word to describe him, he is a bit eccentric. You either love him or hate him. Our gentle searcher seems to be leaning to the latter, wouldn’t you say? The related post, Rating Murray on a scale of easiness to hotness.
3) “girl boy sandwich” – I still stand by this truth. There are girl sandwiches and boy sandwiches. But something tells me our gentle searcher did not find the kind of sandwhich they were after. The related post, I ate a boy sandwich.
4) “girl science experiment toilet water ice” – okay, this one makes sense. Let the pee jokes begin… The related post, Good god, rethink that drink!
5) “barbie doll torture pics” – people are so weird. Disavowing Barbie is a rite of passage?
6) “butt photos” – oh GonZo, you do make me smile. The related post, GonZo’s butt’s photos
7) “i heart my vagina” – stop loving your vagina, it gives boys the wrong idea. sheesh. The related post, I (heart) My Vagina too.
8) “dead glass catfish” – why is someone searching for a dead fish? they’re such beautiful fishies. The related post, Invisible Fish. Parent Lied. Fat Albert.
9) “bicep implants pics” – I just don’t get it. The related post, What about the crotch? Or as my granny would say, “crutch”…
10) “zombie walk toronto” – what a great day! Let’s do it again! The related post, ZOMBIFIED!
Wouldn’t mama be proud that terms like butt photos & barbie doll torture pics lead the world back to her daughter’s blog?