“Daggy music is one way to make the hoons leave an area because they can’t stand the music.”
God bless those lunatics down under – their slang is the best by far. In fact, the term “lily on the dustbin” is Australian slang for a woman who overdresses for an occassion only to be stood up, thus left for the dustbin. She’s a general misfit, a wallflower.
I discovered the expression by enabling the conditions for a fruitful accident… I grabbed my good old feminist dictionary, closed my eyes, fanned the pages and stopped when that internal voice I’ve come to trust shouted “stop”! First fan, enter Lily stage left.
But this post is really about Barry Manilow.
Oh, Barry, you came and your tunes sent the hoons packing… Law enforcement officials in Sydney are using Barry Manilow tunes to “rid streets and car parks of hooligans whose anti-social cars and loud music annoy residents and drive customers from businesses.”
Fuck, I’d run too. Imagine trying to hang out with your friends while Mandy’s blasting in the background. This is blatant state-sponsored terrorism.
Back up…wait. What’s an “anti-social” car anyway? When I think of an anti-social car, I think of a black Lincoln Towncar driving rich folks around the streets of New York. Not the souped up Hondas I imagine these kids to be driving in Sydney. It’s so strange to call a car anti-social.
Those zippy little cars in Tokyo Drift look far from anti-social, don’t you think? And what an irresponsible piece of trash – this movie pisses me off. What are the producers thinking? ‘We have a street racing problem in major urban areas so let’s cash in on it and make it into an even bigger problem?’ Assholes.
Some days I’m so weary I don’t know how to begin to think about popular culture and it’s destructive peculiarities.
But Barry, Barry, Barry – what are we going to do with you?
Here’s my personal recipe for de-hooning the streets:
- Chris de Burgh – Lady in Red
- Elton John – Candle in the Wind (either version… Lady Di or Norma Jean)
- Foreigner – I Want to Know What Love Is [shudder]
- Wilson Philips – Hold On
- Starship – We Built This City
- Chicago – You’re The Inspiration
- Debbie Boone – You Light Up My Life
- Air Supply – really anything, but All Out Of Love is pretty bad
- Olivia Newton-John – I Honestly Love You
- New Kids On The Block – Hangin’ Tough
I was going to spread lies and list the new Paris Hilton only because she’s a lizard wench but I have to admit that little UB40 ripoff is darn catchy.
Did I really write that?