he could lick ’em by smiling…



When I was a kid, my mother was convinced that everything was satanic.

My favourite Duran Duran album, Seven and the Ragged Tiger, was satanic because of the song Union of the Snake. My video game console (a crappy Gemini, my folks cheaped out) was satanic because of games like Demon Attack. The Exorcist was satanic because if I watched it something bad would happen to me. Walking to school was satanic because the Satan’s Choice had a clubhouse directly in my walkpath. Reading Jaws was satanic because it contained the word “humping”. Pink Floyd was possibly satanic, she frowned when I listened to the Wall. Iron Maiden was definitely satanic, and even though I didn’t listen to them, I was somehow responsible for their robot mascot Eddie and his preaching of satanism. AND even though my dad knew better, KISS was satanic according to the gospels of mom. There was more… I’ll spare you.

But oddly enough, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street registered a pass on the satan scale. Brainstorm, starring that creepy/awesome Christopher Walken, also passed. It’s amazing, truly.

The richest satanic experience with my mother I can recall occured sometime in 1984 or ’85. I was watching one of the CityTV music shows with JD Roberts (nice vest) and on comes Nina Hagen. She’s growling and writhing like no other woman has (not even Yoko), my little mind is blowing and I hear my mother stampeding through the house ready to shut down her latest satanic discovery.

“You’re not allowed to watch her. Turn it off. She’s possessed. She’s on drugs. Look at her. You can tell. Look at her eyes. They’re evil. Pure evil.”

Oh, that’s another thing I forgot to mention, according to mom, everyone was either possessed, on drugs or both. Even me.

So to commune with all those “acts of satanism” my mother was too happy to deny me, I’d like to share with you this suberb, 100% satanic, 100% out of synch YouTube vid of Nina Hagen covering David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust.

Amen!

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