My cellulite is not for poppping.

I don’t know if I have cellulite, but my guess is yes. I can never really get a decent view of the back of the bus and for the most part I don’t care so much, although like any woman who’s bombarded with impossible perfection in advertising almost 24/7, I have my days. The mantra becomes “imperfections are what make us who we are, it’s what makes us interesting and unique”. Okay, but convincing myself that that’s not one big pile of horseshit two days before the old period is a challenge.

So here comes Nivea with a new solution, get angry with your cellulite and pop it away:

Nivea invites consumers to pop cellulite
by Mary Dickie

Prior to exiting washrooms, women typically check their appearance in the mirror. And in the gym environment – surrounded by fitness seekers anxious to sculpt their body – perhaps the scrutiny is even more critical.

Tapping that insight, Nivea is promoting the launch of its Good-Bye Cellulite cream with a campaign that allows consumers to instantly vent fatty cell aggression. Washroom miniboard ads for the new cream are wrapped in bubble wrap which, as we all know, is addictively poppable…. [snip]


This is so silly, it borders on insulting. I think this campaign would have been better-suited to hemorrhoids. There’s a condition we can ALL get angry about.

Speaking of horseshit, I have a gardening tip – do not use horse manure on yer garden. A horse’s digestive system doesn’t process seeds very well so if you use their poo, you’ll be weeding for days to come.

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