Previously, when someone I didn’t really know asked me if I thought they were “attractive”, I would say something along the lines of “Well, you’re pretty, but I don’t know you well enough to know if I find you attractive.”
Now, having watched this video a couple of times, I know I can’t use “pretty”, but I don’t know what else to use.
That video was awesome. I ranted about something similar here: http://kimberlychapman.livejournal.com/543215.html Basically that women are REQUIRED to define themselves by physicality, and those of us who don’t demand that we be defined as beautiful get crap from all sides. As in, when I say, “Meh, I’m not pretty” people freak out, but if I said “I’m not very good at gardening” nobody would care.
Radiorocket: if someone asks you if they’re attractive, there’s no decent answer that won’t get you in trouble with someone. Your answer seems sensible to me. If you don’t want to use “pretty” you could substitute “look nice” but that’s loaded too…what does “look nice” mean? That someone looks like a nice person, or that they’re pretty?
There’s absolutely no word pertaining to physicality that won’t offend someone. Same goes for other things too, like how there’s really no good word to describe something that isn’t very bright. If you say something is stupid, dumb, idiotic, etc. you will get someone on your case for it because it allegedly offends people with conditions that used to be linked to those words. And don’t even dare use the r-word! I got in trouble for saying something was “lame” although now I’m actually foot-injured so I go about bestowing the right to say “lame” to others. 🙂
So just speak as honestly and diplomatically as you can and as long as you’re not using physicality as the primary descriptor of a person, hopefully not very many people will actually be offended.
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Previously, when someone I didn’t really know asked me if I thought they were “attractive”, I would say something along the lines of “Well, you’re pretty, but I don’t know you well enough to know if I find you attractive.”
Now, having watched this video a couple of times, I know I can’t use “pretty”, but I don’t know what else to use.
Suggestions?
Anyone?
Bueller?
That video was awesome. I ranted about something similar here: http://kimberlychapman.livejournal.com/543215.html Basically that women are REQUIRED to define themselves by physicality, and those of us who don’t demand that we be defined as beautiful get crap from all sides. As in, when I say, “Meh, I’m not pretty” people freak out, but if I said “I’m not very good at gardening” nobody would care.
Radiorocket: if someone asks you if they’re attractive, there’s no decent answer that won’t get you in trouble with someone. Your answer seems sensible to me. If you don’t want to use “pretty” you could substitute “look nice” but that’s loaded too…what does “look nice” mean? That someone looks like a nice person, or that they’re pretty?
There’s absolutely no word pertaining to physicality that won’t offend someone. Same goes for other things too, like how there’s really no good word to describe something that isn’t very bright. If you say something is stupid, dumb, idiotic, etc. you will get someone on your case for it because it allegedly offends people with conditions that used to be linked to those words. And don’t even dare use the r-word! I got in trouble for saying something was “lame” although now I’m actually foot-injured so I go about bestowing the right to say “lame” to others. 🙂
So just speak as honestly and diplomatically as you can and as long as you’re not using physicality as the primary descriptor of a person, hopefully not very many people will actually be offended.