He tried to insert breast implants into his tattoo…

Byline from the Calgary Sun: “Titillating idea sours when body rejects implants“.

Ahh the Sun. Thanks for that, so very clever.

Brian Decker, a New York-based micro-dermal surgeon and friend, offered Jensen the boob job on his calf last December while visiting Dragon FX.

Decker carved Jensen’s solid silicone implants into a pair of big breasts with nipples and implanted it Dec. 9.

By Christmas Eve, the sutures split and a litre of lymphatic fluid drained from Jensen’s leg.

A litre of fluid. For those of you who may still think in imperial like me, that’s 33 ounces or just over four cups.


According to story commenters, Mr. Decker is not *exactly* a surgeon. Well not in the licensed sense that you and I have come to respect (medical degree?). Nope, allegedly he’s a “body modification expert” who specializes in “extreme scalpeling”. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong, but that doesn’t really earn you the title of “surgeon”… right?

‘My body just rejected it. I guess my girl wasn’t meant to have 3D breasts.’

He tried to heal the burst breasts by freezing his own leg and sewing it back up himself, but then his leg burst open again. Eventually, doctors gave him some antibiotics, a lot of gauze to patch it up, and told him to leave it alone until the fluids stop leaking out.

I’m really trying to be open-minded here, trying so hard… so very hard.

Sources: Calgary Sun & metro.co.uk

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